T13

Thirteen Most Bizarre Jobs

I love being a published author, I really do. Last night I had a dream where I am told I can’t write anymore (shudders) It got me to thinking, what would I do?

1- Ant Catcher

Digs up live ants for use in plastic ant farms.

2- Brain Picker

Places animal head on a table or on hooks in a slaughterhouse, splits the skull and picks out the brains.

3- Odor Judgers

Odor Judgers get to smell armpits all day to help make deodorants that will work well.

4-  Pet Food Taster

Few people have ever sniffed a can of wet dog or cat food and thought, ‘yum’. But Simon Allison tastes pet food for a living – and likes it. The senior food technologist for Marks & Spencer in the UK won’t allow anything that doesn’t pass his taste-test to go on store shelves.

“You have to chew it a bit. I have trained my palate to look for materials that we will not allow in the recipe, such as tripe – pet owners react badly to the smell of tripe.I’m looking for a paté texture, almost to the point where you could spread it on crusty bread. It has a very slightly gritty texture but overall it should be smooth – and studded with peas and carrots.”

His favorite? Organic luxury dinner with vegetables for cats

5- Professional Sleeper

The New Museum of Contemporary Art put out want ads in January 2009 seeking women willing to come in, take a sleeping pill and zonk out during the museum’s opening hours. The women who got the jobs then became living museum exhibitions titled after their own names.

6- Worm Picker

They come out at night, wearing miner’s hats with headlamps and cans strapped around their ankles. Seeking out wet spots with lots of worms coming up to surface, they grab the slimy little creatures and put them in the cans. Good-quality worms fetch up to $18 per can.

7- Snake Milker

Snake milkers stretch a thin membrane over a glass or plastic receptacle, induce the snake to bite through the membrane and apply pressure to the snake’s venom glands to collect the venom.

8- Chicken Sexer

Sorts through baby chicks to determine if they are male or female, and then segregate them. The chicken sexer puts the chicken hatchlings on the appropriate track early, enabling those chickens to receive optimal nourishment for their likely commercial role from an early age.

9- Janitor at a Porno Theatre

Main job is to take a mop or rag and wipe up after each show is finished. It is safe to assume the sticky substance under the chairs is NOT soda.

10- Animal Masturbator

Researchers who want animal sperm to study fertility or for artificial insemination have only three options- ram an electric probe up the animal’s rectum, shove an artificial vagina over the animal’s penis or simply do it the old fashioned way – manual stimulation.

11- Flatus Odor Judge

Sixteen healthy subjects volunteered to eat pinto beans and insert small plastic collection tubes into their anuses. After each ‘episode of flatulence’ the gas is syringed into a discrete container, rigorously maintaining fart integrity. The odor judges then sat down with 100 samples, opened the caps one at a time, and inhaled robustly. They then noted just how noxious the smell was. The samples were also chemically analyzed and it was determined infinitely the most malodorous component of human flatus is-hydrogen sulfide.

12- Portable Toilet Cleaner

Using a tank and a vacuum wand, cleaners must suck up the waste in a portable toilet. After picking up any stray toilet paper, they also wash down any surfaces that might be soiled, including the walls. Usually cleaning a public toilet only takes a few minutes, and most cleaners clean about 10 to 60 a day. But it’s not always easy—portable toilets that tip over require more damage control. Nevertheless, most cleaners grin and bear it—and take home $50,000 a yr.

13- I leave you with the BEST JOB I found while searching the net.

Think you’ve got the best job in the world? Think again.According to the Queensland tourism board in Australia, there is no job in the world that can compare to the one they’re offering – a six-month contract on a tropical Grand Barrier Reef Island where the person’s only responsibility is exploring the majestic land and then bragging about it.More than 200,000 people logged on to the website (www.islandreefjob.com) to find out what they have to do to win a six-month contract worth $150,000 AUD ($122,000 Cdn.) that comes complete with a rent-free multi-million-dollar oceanfront villa.

.He or she will be required to live in an oceanfront villa, undertake a range of activities such as swimming, snorkelling, bushwalking and exploring the islands of the Great Barrier Reef,They’ll need to make friends with the locals and really get to know the destination and then report back on their experiences via blogs, video diaries and media interviews.

Where do I sign up?

I JUST HAD TO ADD MY NEW COVER!

In Your Eyes will be available in PRINT & Ebook

February 12th Just in time for Valentine’s Day!

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